Pumpkin Seeds
a comedy in black and orange

It is happening around the end of October. The house is decorated in orange and black, and is joyously lightened by the pulsing lights of dying candles. The night has just kicked day’s butt and has taken possession of deeds and morals. Children are playful but unprotected against the wisdom of life—their fate is salivating—wariness will be defeated tonight.

Billy and Johnny are 8 and 9 year old. Mom's favorite is Billy, and Johnny is his brother. Their grandfather, Jim, looks after them. Or sleeps. Or breathes. Who knows? He is also their father's father. Mother is doing things that moms do.

 

MOM: Kids, come to the table, dinner is ready.

BILLY: Just five more minutes, mom, please!

MOM: No, it's late already. Come on.

JOHNNY: Dad is not here yet, let's wait.

MOM: He'll join us later on the table. Come on, and let's
eat now. Johnny, did you wash your hand?

JOHNNY: Mom, grandpa is looking for something.

MOM: Jim, are you looking for something?

JIM: Yesh, I cannoth findh my chopphersh. 

MOM: Billy, did you hide your grandfather's choppers, honey?

BILLY: Nope!

MOM: Billy?

BILLY: N-no.

MOM: Billy!

BILLY: Well, I think Johnny put them somewhere and--

JOHNNY: Bill, I told you not to tell anyone.

MOM: Johnny, where are your grandfather's choppers?

JOHNNY: I really don’t know, mom. 

MOM: Really, really?

BILLY: He drank the water from the glass with the choppers,
       and when he realized this, he threw them somewhere.

JOHNNY: Bill, I told you not to tell anyone.

MOM: Oh, boys, I'm tired already of this story. Anyway, 
     there's only soup for dinner. And some potatoes.
     But I don't recommend those to you... Jim. So you won't 
     need your choppers. Problem solved!

...

JOHNNY: Mom, may I have some more potatoes, please!

MOM: Of course, Johnny. What about you, Billy? Billy? 
     What are you staring at, dear?

BILLY: Mom, it seems like that big potato is looking at me.

MOM: Oh, honey. That is not a potato. That is a cranium. 
     Don't you recognize that maxilla and the ridged 
     supraorbital torus? 

JOHNNY: Mwaha-ha-ha-ha, I got it now, ha-ha-ha - “Dad will
        join us later on the table.”

MOM: Johnny! I've always told you not to laugh while eating!

JOHNNY: I'm not eating. I mean, I'm not laughing. Not at you. 
        Just take a look at grandpa.

MOM: Jim? …Jim? …Jim! Let me touch your… Oh, I've always 
     said that you are a cold person, but now you are 
     exaggerating. You are getting blue. OK, boys. It’s late. 
     Time to go to bed. And don’t forget to brush your teeth. 
     Otherwise you’ll get toothless just like your 
     grandfa... oh, whatever. Johnny, take off the mask and 
     use both hands, please. Halloween is over. 

BILLY: Err… mom? Johnny was born like that. 

MOM: Shut up, Bill! And put the rest of your dad in the 
     refrigerator! OK, honey? I love you!

BILLY: OK ma'. You know, I will always love you too. 
       Just like we all loved grandma's steaks.
antonmt
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